The View From Wisconsin

Ah, what a year it's been. We went from reversing the Curse of the Bambino to reversing the Curse of Shoeless Joe. We saw Tom Brady win, Donovan McNabb disintegrate, and T.O. implode. We witnessed San Antonio ascend to the top of the NBA (again) – and Larry Brown couldn't do anything to stop it. We saw steroids grab the headlines, we saw Barry grab his knee, and we saw Mark Attanasio grab the reins of a team that suddenly remembered how to win. We saw playoff games that looked like they'd never end; we watched and waited as the lockout that we never thought would end finally did, and then watched the improbable happen as a hockey team in Nashville, of all places, jumped off to one of the fastest starts in NHL history. We also watched the end for Barry Alvarez, the "New Orleans" Saints, and (probably) Brett Favre. We also saw the beginning of a new ballclub in Washington – albeit in a dumpy old stadium – and new possibilities as Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin skated out onto the ice.

That doesn't mean we can't hope that some things are different in the new year. Like, for example:

• The Packers finally "help" Brett Favre decide to retire by placing him on waivers. And Ted Thompson goes out and hires a coach that can actually help this club win… like Pete Carroll.
• The NHL, finally making its debut on NBC, beats out the twenty-million "Poker Night" reruns on ESPN. (Heck, we'd settle for the games on NBC beating out reruns of I Love Lucy.)
• Peyton Manning and Indianapolis finally gets over the schneid of the New England Patriots and gets to the Super Bowl… just in time to get thwupped by his little brother Eli on a last second field goal.
• At the Daytona 500, Tony Stewart gets into a late-race scuffle with Dale Earnhardt Jr., and the two crash. As an amazed nation watches on Fox, the two get into a fist-fight on the back stretch, with both drivers ending up in the racetrack hospital with bloody noses and bruises. When they go back to green, Michael Waltrip wins "The Great American Race."
• Team Canada gets eliminated in the first round of medal play by the Czech Republic, behind the play of Tomas Vokoun. Team USA is eliminated as well in the first round of medal play by the other half of the former Czecheslovakia, with Peter Budaj and Jan Lasak forming a two-headed monster for the Slovaks. The Czechs beat Russia in the semis, and the Slovaks beat Finland in the shootout, resulting in what most observers call the best gold-medal game in Olympic history, a 2-1 win in overtime by the Czechs. Too bad no one in North America is watching.
• No major incidents happen in the Torino Olympics, unless you count the time when Chris Chelios went into the Olympic Village cafeteria without his teeth in.
• North Carolina fails to make it to the final four a year after winning the Men's Basketball title. Mike Kryzewski, however, does guide Duke to the championship, defeating the Illinois "Illini" (the "Fightin'" part being eliminated due to the NCAA's PC police).
• Johnny Damon goes out to make his first start in CF for Yankees, and breaks his leg diving for a ball in shallow LCF. He ends up spending most of the year on the DL, and the Yankees… still manage to win the division.
• A certain team from Motown and a certain team from Music City meet up in the Western Conference semis… and the latter team beats them in seven.
• The Houston Texans predictably draft Reggie Bush as the #1 overall pick. The (City To Be Named Later) Saints draft Matt Leinart. The Green Bay Packers draft some guy no one's ever heard of, and won't be seen again for three or four more years when he's released for "not living up to expectations."
• Danica Patrick qualifies in the middle of the field for the Indy 500, but does not finish due to engine problems. (No, she doesn't radio in that "the little 'check engine' light just came on on my dash!") She doesn't finish in the top 10 in any IRL race in 2006.
• The Bucks don't make the playoffs, complain some more about the Bradley Center, and nobody does anything about it. Someone wins the NBA championship. No one really cares much, outside that city.
• After finishing dead last in the NHL, Mario Lemieux announces that he has sold the team to the Maloof brothers – owners of the Sacramento Kings and the Palms Resort Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. The Maloofs immediately apply to move the Pens to Las Vegas for the 2007-08 season.
• The Pens select Phil Kessel with the first pick in the 2006 draft – and he immediately refuses to sign with the Penguins until after the team moves to Vegas.
• The Milwaukee Brewers find themselves a game behind the Cardinals at the All-Star Break, when Albert Pujols – selected to the NL squad as the starting first baseman – pulls a groin running out a grounder. He is on and off the DL the rest of the year, and the Brewers finally take the lead for good in late August.
• Tiger Woods wins another major. Michelle Wie doesn't win a tournament. Annika Sorenstam does.
• The Badgers start up their first season without Barry Alvarez at the helm in over a decade off to a 6-0 start, and despite dropping two games, end up with another Rose Bowl berth – against a depleted Texas squad.
• Southern Cal drops its first five games, after the team is hit with NCAA sanctions over recruiting violations. Meanwhile, JoPa and Penn State end up going undefeated and are given a berth in the BCS championship game. In the press conference before the game, he refuses to back down on his criticism of the BCS, and states "there should be a sanctioned playoff" in Division I-A football.
• Sunday Night Football on NBC is a hit, as expected, though Bob Costas finds it a bit dizzying trying to keep up with John Madden's "booms!" and "bams!" and ramblings.
• ESPN's Monday Night Football gets about the same ratings on cable as they did on ABC.
• Half of the people in fantasy football leagues take Shaun Alexander #1 in their drafts. All of his owners weep openly in week two when he is taken out with a knee injury.
• When Herb Kohl (D-Wisc.) is defeated soundly by former governor Tommy Thompson in the race for his senate seat, Kohl announces that he is not only retiring from politics, but he is selling the Bucks to an ownership group based in Kansas City, MO. The group immediately announces that the Bucks will be moving to Kansas City's new Sprint Arena in 2007.
• The Champ Car Series finally capitulates to the IRL when its lone engine builder pulls out mid-season, and all of the member teams disband due to financial problems. Meanwhile, someone who no one has ever heard of wins the IRL championship. No one, outside of the person's immediate family and the Hulman family, cares.
• Jimmie Johnson actually manages to finish in the top 10 in each of the newly-renamed "Sprint For The Cup" championship races, and holds off Waltrip and teammate Jeff Gordon for the title.
• After Michael Schumacher clinches the Formula One championship one race before the end of the season, every other racing team on the circuit pulls out of the final Grand Prix of the season – except for Ferrari. Bernie Ecclestone refuses to place sanctions on the teams that pull out, stating, "what good would a three-car racing series be, anyways?" A few members of the racing press in the US claim that's what Ecclestone has already.
• At least three NFL teams that didn't qualify for the playoffs in 2005 will do so in 2006, while three of the teams that were in the playoffs this year will fail miserably in 2006.
• Kansas City voters will approve a new "moveable roof" to be constructed over a renovated Hunt (formerly Chiefs) Stadium – and Kauffman Stadium – so that the former can host a Super Bowl by the end of the decade.
• Nothing new will be in the offing for new stadiums in New York and Oakland (for baseball); Seattle, Sacramento and Portland (for basketball); or New York, Los Angeles and New Orleans (for football). The Saints will be forced into an additional season playing "home" games between Baton Rouge and Tulane Stadium.