The View From Wisconsin

Just a random set of rants from a Sports Fan from Wisconsin.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Signs You Live In A Rural Community

As I have moved up here to the Great North Woods, I am slowly compiling a list of things that indicate that you live in a small, rural community. I may add to this list as the days go on, but this is a pretty good start, I'd think. (EDIT: Added items are in italics)
  1. There are chicken feeding along the side of the road - not less than a block away from the city limits.
  2. The ratio of bars-to-churches in town is remarkably close to 1:1.
  3. You can count the number of stoplights in the city on one hand.
  4. The largest store in the city/town's downtown area is a hardware store.
  5. The largest store in the city - is Wal-Mart.
  6. The post office closes early on Saturdays.
  7. Houses in town have at least one pickup truck, boat or motor home in the driveway.
  8. Entertainment includes going to the part of town that was damaged in the last tornado, or the last big fire that happened to that one house.
  9. Even though the city isn't all that big, you can't physically get from one side to the other directly - either due to a man-made (railroad, freeway) or a natural (river, lake, mountain, whatever) feature.
  10. Your primary hospital is a clinic for a medical group based in another county.
  11. Nothing is open 24 hours - not even the local Walgreens located near downtown.
  12. Your local newspaper is a one-page sheet that covers the front page of another paper from a nearby town.
  13. The closest fast food restaurant to the middle of town is either a Hardees or a Dairy Queen.
  14. The Dairy Queen closes in mid-October. 
  15. You have a 30-minute or more drive to the nearest Starbucks.
  16. There is no Menards, Lowe's, Home Depot nor Farm & Fleet in the city.
  17. You have to dial the area code to call a local phone number.
  18. You have to use satellite radio to listen to practically anything in your car, since there are about three radio stations in the listening area. 
  19. The side roads aren't even touched by plows or salters/sanders after a snowstorm. 
  20. The local municipality uses sand on the roads - when they use them.