The View From Wisconsin

It's Cub Week in Milwaukee, and that means it's time to dump on the Cubs. Never in the history of sports (with the possible exception of the Brooklyn Dodgers) has there been a franchise that has made so much money out of being pegged as "losers" as the Cubbies. They are the baseball personification of Murphy's Law: if anything can possibly go wrong in the game of baseball, it will go wrong for the Cubs. From billy goats to the death of Kenny Hubbs, from the Brock For Broglio trade to the ground ball dribbling between Durham's legs, and Sammy's corked bats and season-ending tirades, the team from the North Side can't win for losing.

And it all begins with their ballpark. You have to wonder if there was some sort of curse placed on the grounds after the Catholic seminary that was on the site was torn down for Charles Weegham's park. It's been over 90 years, and the place is really showing its age. Chunks of cement, rusted fencing and gates, lousy facilities for both home and visiting teams – all of these indicate that it would better serve the Cubs if they just tore it down and started over.

A Chicago Tribune writer agrees with this sentiment, though he feels somewhat ashamed of this fact because the White Sox's Carl Everett also believes the park should be demolished. Personally, if the Cubs gutted the place and rebuilt it with a completely new interior, they'd be miles ahead in the long run. And if the Tribune Company really had cajones, they'd buy out the land owners on Waveland and Sheffield, and petition the city of Chicago to close off those two streets to traffic permanently to turn them into a pedestrian mall. Then, sell off the buildings as condos with luxury box seating – even better than "club seats", because you can actually live there.

Alas, the Cubs and the Trib Co. don't have the stomach for the fight that it'd take, and the only way the Cubs would end up out of Wrigley would be if or when the city condemns the place.

On a somewhat similar subject: I have never completely understood the fascination with "relic" cards – sports cards that contain, wedged inside the slabs of cardboard, a piece of a jersey, a bat or stick, a helmet or other piece of sports history. Even though I personally own about four or five of these things, I guess I don't understand the rationale for their existence. Wouldn't it be a better thing to own a complete Mantle or Maris or McGwire jersey, instead of a tiny one-inch-by-one-inch square glued in between some cardboard?

Still, these things are hot property – a 1999 Upper Deck "A Piece of History" bat and autograph card of Hank Aaron goes for up to $1,200. Even a 2005 Topps "All-Star Stitches" relic card of Albert Pujols' practice jersey before the 2004 All-Star Game in Houston is selling at $20 a pop.

Speaking of the All-Star Game: I want Brady Clark to make the All-Star team, I really do – but do you honestly think he's going to be voted in as a starter? I didn't think so. And after LaRussa brings "his" guys along – Edmonds, Pujols, Matheny, Morris – there won't be much room for any of our guys. Knowing LaRussa, he'll probably choose Carlos Lee and Doug Davis, leaving Brady to spend the break at home. A pity, actually.

On to the NHL: Everyone keeps saying, "this is the week, this is the week, this is the week" when it comes to the NHL. I personally think that the lawyers who are going over the fine print of the documents are just stringing both sides along so they can get the most amount of money out of them – and so they'll be forced to keep them on retainer. They'll get it done before Canada Day, that's pretty much for certain.

It does not surprise me that the Lauries have finally realized that owning an NHL franchise isn't as fun as it appeared to be. When team owners openly pine for an NBA franchise instead of doting heavily on the NHL team they have, you know you're in trouble. Hopefully, someone will buy the team that's actually interested in putting a product on the ice that can win some hockey games. As long, of course, as those hockey games aren't in the Stanley Cup playoffs.

All of a sudden, it looks like 2009 will be the year that New York City actually got new ballparks built. The Mets are now benefactors of the failed West Side Stadium plan, as they are slated to get a new stadium to replace the slightly-outdated Shea that will (hopefully, at least in the minds of city officials) host the 2012 Olympics. Tie that with the Yankees' plans for a new ballpark just north of their current place, and you've got a sudden influx of stadium construction in the largest city in North America. New Yorkers will find a way to complain about it to no end – no one can ever agree on anything in that city, anyways – but it looks pretty much certain that the two teams will have new homes within a decade.

The Spurs managed to pull one out of their posterior last night over the Pistons, and may be one win away from yet another title. If I were an NBA general manager, I'd just sign Robert Horry for the playoffs, since he has a knack of hitting one big shot after another in big games. Too bad that if the Spurs win their next game at home, it'll be the last NBA game for quite some time… aw, who am I kidding? I want them to get locked out, prefereably for the entire season. That way, the NHL won't have any competition once they get back on the ice.

I want to know exactly how the AHL intends to put together a schedule for 27 teams. The only thing I can think of is to divide the league up into two conferences of six divisions each, with the majority of teams (15) in the East and the rest (12) in the West. That way, scheduling won't be so nightmarish (though it'll still be hell for Manitoba). I also wonder how long it's going to take before the Coyotes sue the pants off of the Elmores for suspending the Grizzlies as a franchise.